As usual, play at your own risk!
Take A Big Gulp Whenever…
- Al Trautwig fucks up Nastia Liukin's name on air. (He does it at least once per broadcast.)
- It sounds like Nastia is whispering into the microphone.
- Al Trautwig makes an awkward comment on a gymnast's body. For example, "Look at the muscles in her forearms absolutely rippling."
- Nastia and Tim begin to reminisce about the glory days when they still wore grips and leotards.
- Tim Daggett says, "That's bad."
- Tim Daggett says, "Not good."
- Tim Daggett says, "Let's see here."
- A commentator uses the word "prestigious" to describe this meet.
- A commentator mentions the word "Olympics." (You're going to be so drunk. Happy Saturday!)
- Someone on social media calls Carlotta Ferlito a racist.
- Someone on social media says that the Americans were overscored.
- Someone on social media says that Gabby threw shade at Sophina and her floor routine.
- A gymnast does an aerial front walkover.
- A male gymnast does a double pike dismount off parallel bars.
- A female gymnast does a double pike on floor.
- A gymnast does a stalder.
- A gymnast does a vault with some twists. (I'm trying to get you drunk, if you can't tell.)
- Nastia tries to comment on men's gymnastics and fails.
Finish Your Drink When…
- The broadcast opens with a view of the Prudential Center, followed by a shot of Gabby Douglas winning the 2012 all-around title.
- Nile Wilson is bumped from the competition. Because Max Whitlock. (Seriously, if this comes true, I will die of a rage stroke.)
- A commentator mentions the Fierce 5.
- A commentator talks about McKayla Maroney saying goodbye to competition. (Tears make for a great mixer.)
- A commentator talks about Kyla Ross retiring from elite gymnastics. (SLOPPY. TEARS. are an even better mixer.)
- Gabby Douglas talks about Simone Biles pushing her.
- The camera awkwardly pans to a gymnast's butt or crotch.
- A commentator mentions the Amanar, even though no one is competing the vault at this meet.
- A male gymnast does the "man wipe" in the corner before his final tumbling pass. He probably could use a drink right now, so you probably should help him out.
- A female gymnast does a leap out of a tumbling pass. (Warning: If she goes out of bounds on that leap, you should probably giggle and then have two drinks.)
- You see a ring leap that you wouldn't want to put a ring on. (Gabby on beam. There, I said it.)
- A part of you misses seeing Aimee Boorman and her perfect hair on your screen.
Take Three Big Gulps When…
- The Holy Trinity of the American Cup appears on your screen – Mary Lou Retton (Father), Carly Patterson (Son), and Nastia Liukin (Holy Ghost).
For the Designated Drunks out There, Chug Whenever…
- Tim Daggett says the word "tenth" or "tenths."
- New Jersey's blueberry wine -- because the sweetest year is the Olympic year.
- New Jersey's Applejack -- because who doesn't want to watch jacked gymnasts perform incredible feats, while you get so drunk that you can barely walk? #LifeGoals
- Jack Rose -- because hot pink nation.
How to Watch the 2016 American Cup
- Competition: Saturday, March 5
- 11:30am-1pm ET, liveextra.nbcsports.com
- 1pm-3pm ET, NBC