As usual, play at your own risk!
Take A Big Gulp Whenever…
- It sounds like Nastia is whispering into the microphone.
- The commentators use the word "capable."
- Nastia and Tim begin to reminisce about the glory days when they still wore grips and leotards.
- Al Trautwig makes a WTF comment, and Tim Daggett laughs uncomfortably to be polite.
- Someone on social media calls Carlotta Ferlito a racist.
- Someone on social media wonders why Gabby Douglas isn't competing.
- Someone on social media confuses Elizabeth Price with Gabby Douglas.
- A gymnast does an aerial front walkover.
- A male gymnast does a double pike dismount off parallel bars.
- A female gymnast does a double pike on floor. (You're going to get so drunk. Oops.)
Finish Your Drink When…
- The broadcast opens with a view of the Greensboro Coliseum Complex followed by a montage of the Fierce 5.
- Mary Lou Retton's face is on your screen. (Get used to it. 2014 will be the year of Mary Lou.)
- The camera awkwardly pans to a gymnast's butt.
- Fabian Hambuechen embraces another one of the male gymnasts, preferably Sam Mikulak.
- A gymnast talks about "being best friends" on air.
- A male gymnast does the "man wipe" in the corner before his final tumbling pass. He probably could use a drink right now, so you probably should help him out.
- A female gymnast does a leap out of a tumbling pass. (Warning: If she goes out of bounds on that leap, you should probably giggle and then have two drinks.)
- Tim Daggett talks about the hardness of the D.
- Tim Daggett gesticulates wildly on camera.
- Andrea Joyce speaks.
- A part of you misses Elfi Schlegel.
- A cosmopolitan because there's bound to be some hot pink in that arena.
- North Carolina sweet tea--spiked with a metric buttload of rum. Martha Stewart will tell you how to do it.
- Moonshine because you'd rather go blind than watch another American win this competition.
How to Watch the 2014 American Cup
- Podium Training: Thursday, February 27, ATTAmericanCup.com
- Women, 10:30am-12:30pm ET
- Men, 1:30pm-3:30pm ET
- Competition: Saturday, March 1
- 11:30am-1pm ET, ATTAmericanCup.com
- 1pm-3pm ET, NBC
Please remember that the podium training feed is brought to you by USA Gymnastics. If you complain about seeing mostly American gymnasts on the feed, you're an ungrateful asshole.
Remember a time when we didn't have any podium training coverage at all?
On the latest episode of GymCastic, I chose Elizabeth Price and Sam Mikulak to win the competition. Truth be told, I chose Sam because I want him to feel redeemed after the 2013 World Championships. But I wouldn't mind if Fabian won the American Cup again. (He and Jordyn Wieber won in 2009.)
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