That said, we need to talk about this...
During your 4 minutes of fame, you decided to participate in
THE UGLIEST HANDSTAND CONTEST EVER!
Danell... querido, Close your legs! ¡Dios mío!
Horton... Step out of the shadows and point your bloody toes!
Mikulak... Your shoulders aren't that wide. Move your hands closer together!
Orozco... ¡Ay, nene! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?
Jakey-Poo... You're NOT a turtle! Don't stick your head out!
Dear Team USA,
I hate to be the one to break this to you, but... The gymnastics gods saw you on TV, and
Doesn't Sexy Alexei look pissed?
If you want to appease the gymnastics gods on Saturday, you better try a lot harder. Coaches always say that you play the way you practice, and if that adage is true, you're all screwed.