But I'll let you in on an old Soviet secret: alcohol makes everything better. At least, that's what Valentina Rodionenko told me in a dream last night, and everything that comes out of Valentina's mouth is true. (*Cough* Nabieva's perpetual retirement. *Cough*)
So, grab a couple friends and a whole lot of alcohol, and win that Olympic gold medal in drinking. YOU CAN DO IT!