Men's UTRS: The Best Scores of 2014 Updated April 6

The All Around is going to do their handy dandy rankings this year for the women. If they take on the men, I will stop my UTRS (Uncle Tim Ranking System). Again, for those who care, "UTRS" is pronounced "uterus."

As per usual, take these rankings with a grain of salt. (Pro Tip: Never bet your life savings based on my numbers–or my predictions for that matter.) I recognize that judging varies from meet to meet, but sometimes, it is evident that the judges are smoking something. Earlier this year, the American judges at the Houston Invitational were higher than the attendees of Woodstock. So, I decided to drop those scores from the UTRS. Sorry.

But before we begin, here's a fun fact:

At the 2014 Tokyo World Cup, Kohei Uchimura's total D score was a 38.6. That's 0.5 harder than his routines at the 2013 World Championships. 

Men's All-Around Rankings: Best Scores

Name	Country	Score	Meet
1. Kohei Uchimura	Japan	92.898	Tokyo World Cup
2. Fabian Hambuechen	Germany	90.231	Tokyo World Cup
3. Sam Mikulak	USA	90.098	American Cup
4. Ryohei Kato	Japan	89.397	Tokyo World Cup
5. Max Whitlock	Great Britain	89.000	British Championships
6. Shogo Nonomura	Japan	88.965	American Cup
7. Daniel Purvis	Great Britain	88.899	American Cup
8. John Orozco	USA	88.065	American Cup
9. Kristian Thomas	Great Britain	87.950	English Championships
10. Sergio Sasaki	Brazil	87.797	Tokyo World Cup

Best Score of 2013: Oleg Verniaiev, Ukraine, 92.165, Stuttgart

Sloppy: The 2014 American Cup Drinking Game

As usual, play at your own risk!

Take A Big Gulp Whenever…

• It sounds like Nastia is whispering into the microphone.
• The commentators use the word "capable."
• Nastia and Tim begin to reminisce about the glory days when they still wore grips and leotards.
• Al Trautwig makes a WTF comment, and Tim Daggett laughs uncomfortably to be polite.
• Someone on social media calls Carlotta Ferlito a racist.
• Someone on social media wonders why Gabby Douglas isn't competing.
• Someone on social media confuses Elizabeth Price with Gabby Douglas.
• A gymnast does an aerial front walkover.
• A male gymnast does a double pike dismount off parallel bars.
• A female gymnast does a double pike on floor. (You're going to get so drunk. Oops.)

Not So Sexy Data: The U.S. Pommel Horse Problem

In this photo, Akash is clearly concerned about something. I'm guessing it's the pommel horse scores.

Yesterday, I said that the U.S. men were in trouble on pommel horse. Well, here's some (not so) sexy data to back it up:

Averages from the 2014 Winter Cup

for the U.S. National Team

Name	FX Avg.	PH Avg.	SR Avg.	VT Avg.	PB Avg.	HB Avg.
Akash Modi	14.750	13.550	14.250	14.300	15.375	13.875
Alex Naddour		11.750
Brandon Wynn			15.550
Chris Brooks	14.400	13.625	14.550	14.875	14.700	15.275
Donnell Whittenburg	14.975	12.600	15.375	15.025	14.550	14.050
Eddie Penev	15.450			15.225	14.075	13.900
Jake Dalton			15.150
John Orozco	14.300	12.800	14.700	15.000	13.475	15.400
Jonathan Horton
Josh Dixon	14.875	12.575	14.150	15.100	14.025	14.700
Marvin Kimble	14.675	13.200	14.600	14.225	15.025	14.225
Paul Ruggeri
Sam Mikulak
Sean Melton	15.000	13.400	14.200	15.025	14.050	14.825
Steven Legendre			14.700
Average	14.803	12.938	14.725	14.847	14.409	14.531

There was a bonus system in place at the Winter Cup, so some of these averages might be a little on the higher side.

When the current U.S. National Team averages a 12.938 on pommel horse, it's time to panic if you're a U.S. gymnastics fan. And if you're a U.S. National Team member, it might be time to risk tendonitis of the wrist--due to excessive circling.

Pass me the Xanax. I'm going to need it this year.

Related Links:

14 Routines to Watch from the 2014 Winter Cup